Austin Audience

Three succinct points:

1. No posts in, like, half a year almost. No apologies–I’ve been doing many worthwhile things, such as planting trees in South America, administering Gardasil to teenagers and overhauling FEMA.

2. Movies. I like them. Movies I’ve liked lately include: Bridge to Terabithia, The Departed, Children of Men and Music and Lyrics (SOLELY because of the Pop! music video); Movies I’ve shrugged my shoulders over: Pan’s Labyrinth (scary and depressing with no real redeeming virtues), The Holiday (only the Kate Winslet half is worth watching); Movies that made me cringe: Eragon (just… stay away… take my word for it).

3. South by Southwest. Last year I worked stage crew at the Hideout, a coffeehouse-turned-concert hall that boasted a full house maybe twice the whole week (and a low point of an eight-member audience). This year I volunteered at Stubb’s, the biggest club venue of the whole festival. My job included standing at the front gate and turning away many hopeful concertgoers who didn’t have a clue what kind of crowd they would be up against. The essential job skills: ability to use the creepy RFID badge/wristband scanner, a loud voice, the self control to resist drooling over celebrities in attendance, a complete lack of Enoachlophobia (fear of crowds), and masochistic tendencies. I’ve never in my life been the recipient of so many simultaneous enraged stares from people with mohawks.

The end!

Dear loyal readers,

I have a confession to make. It’s a painful subject to discuss, even now, but I feel it’s only fair to you, my fan(s), that I tell you the truth. After all we’ve been through together, all the ups and downs, I owe you that at least. Here goes.

For a while now–for about one and a half months–I’ve been deceiving all of you. I’ve been lying by omission in every single post. The truth is, I’m not actually in Austin anymore… I’m *gulp* living in New Braunfels. That’s right, the title, nay, the very soul of my blog has become a sad mockery of its former self. There, I said it. I’m so ashamed! Please forgive me, lovely readers! I thought it was for the best. But the truth–it ate me up inside, as the web of lies just got thicker and more tangled until I couldn’t stand it anymore.

But there is light on the horizon! My redemption is nigh, for I am officially moving back to Austin. I was hired yesterday by a local marketing company (conveniently located on Sixth Street), and am tentatively slated to begin work next week. I plan on commuting from my current place of residence until I can find suitable accomodations, but the fact remains: I’m on my way back to my favorite city in the world.

I hope that, in time, you will learn to trust me again. Please know that I have learned a valuable lesson from this ordeal, and I pledge to never, ever deceive my readers again, so help me Tom Cruise.

Your humbled, penitent blogstress,

Amanda Jo

P.S. Please don’t vote for Kinky Friedman in November. I’ve interviewed the guy–he’s not governor material, even by the Schwarzenegger standard. I vented my frustrations today on some unsuspecting guy’s blog. Find my rant here, following a great list of reasons to vote Bell for governor.

Raise your hand if you love Stephen Colbert. No, on second thought, raise your hand if you don’t love Stephen Colbert, so we can clearly see who hates America. There. That’s better.

My personal “On Notice” board:

That’s right, Carlos Mencia. One more “dee dee dee!” and you’re Dead To Me.

Get your very own Colbert Report “On Notice” Board here.

Tags: Stephen Colbert

…then don’t bother with this. If you’re a fan, however–this just might be the best thing you’ve ever seen.

Murlocs are hilarious.

I know I’ve been kind of a re-posting whore lately. There will be an actual entry any day now, I promise!

OK Go with their newest homemade dance video. Don’t try this at home.

Brandon Routh (pronounced, I have learned, like “south”) may look and act like an amazingly well-crafted Christopher Reeve clone, but his performance can’t save Superman Returns from itself. This is a movie that, above all, longs to recapture the respectability of the Superman brand following two big-screen failures, but in doing so manages to siphon out all the swashbuckling fun that was once paramount to the franchise. It’s been a long time since I saw Superman (the 1978 version), but I distinctly remember being excited, even inspired, by Reeve’s bespandexed do-gooder. Routh’s Superman (through no fault of the actor’s) is monosyllabic and dull, even when he’s not in costume. He does do a great job of impersonating Reeve’s style; he fluidly pulls off the Jekyll and Hyde personality switch that’s required to separate nerdy Clark from hunky Superman, above and beyond a simple pair of glasses. Something about the way Routh carries himself, the way he speaks and moves, harkens back to an earlier time. If only the film had allowed the actor to stretch his legs a bit. Clark Kent barely gets any screen time–Routh spends most of the movie in tights. To me, Clark has always been a much more compelling character than the alter-ego in the cape. Superman is a straightforward guy, bordering on boring. He fights, he saves people, he kisses Lois sometimes. How is a guy with no faults an interesting subject? Clark Kent gets to have a multi-faceted personality, complete with hang-ups and nervousness. That’s the guy I want to see a movie about. As for the ancillary characters, Kate Bosworth is awful–AWFUL–as a lifeless Lois Lane, Kevin Spacey is passable but not particularly interesting as supervillain Lex Luthor, and Frank Langella plays a very jaded and depressing Perry White. Even his single utterance of “great Caesar’s ghost” sounds more like an apology than an exclamation.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been watching a lot of old episodes of “Lois and Clark” lately, and it’s coloring my judgment of Superman Returns. I can’t help contrasting Routh’s somber superhero with Dean Cain’s funny and sweet portrayal, Bosworth’s ho-hum Lois with Teri Hatcher’s spunky, stubborn reporter. Even the venerable Langella fails as Perry White when compared to the late Lane Smith’s charming, Southern, “great shades of Elvis!” Perry White. Obviously a feature film striving for weighty pathos would do well to take a few steps back from the cartoony, often preposterous dialogue and plotlines of “Lois and Clark,” but surely a happy medium between silly and sullen could have been found. Maybe it’s just because I’ve always had a crush on Dean Cain (who I think looks better in the tie and glasses than he does in the supersuit, which can’t be said of Routh). Maybe it’s just because I have fond memories of watching “Lois and Clark” with my family on Sunday nights. But I’m having a lot more fun kicking back with my Season 3 DVDs than I was having a few nights ago at the theater.

Technorati tag: Movies, Superman, Superman Returns

Have I mentioned recently how much I adore the Dixie Chicks? Seriously. They have the huevos to offend their mostly conservative, country-listening base for the sake of being true to their beliefs. Even though they apologized to President Bush way back in their “we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas” days (a regrettable but understandable self-preservation effort in the face of overwhelming backlash), the girls have jumped in the limelight again while promoting their new album, “Taking the Long Way,” by pretty much recanting the earlier apology. They’re still banned by lots of radio stations I’ll never listen to, but with the kind of press they’re getting I wouldn’t worry about them too much. As long as people are talking, the message will still get out there. Free speech rawks, and even though I’m not usually the biggest country music fan, I WILL be purchasing the new record. Woot for chicks with balls!

Is Ron Howard’s newest overblown creation, The Da Vinci Code, a creative success or a phenomenal flop? No one seems to be agreeing on the matter. I haven’t seen it myself, so I’ll refrain from passing too much judgment until I witness this masterpiece.

Actually, most critics are agreeing wholeheartedly that Da Vinci is at best mediocre and at worst a spectacular waste of time. It’s the fans who don’t seem to mind the apparently tepid script and loooong running time (two and a half hours), responding decidedly differently to the film than the jaded Cannes audience did in mid-May. It grossed $77 mil during opening weekend–a decent chunk of change–and has garnered a 6/10 rating on IMDb. The site’s user-commenter for Da Vinci, Aussie “toddt85,” writes:

After hearing about the critics’ mainly negative views of the film, I approached it without high expectations, and for that, I was rewarded. What I got was an action-packed film that didn’t let up until the dying minutes.

I guess those poor Samoans will just have to miss out on all the “action-packed” controversy and anti-Catholic hullabaloo.

Technorati tag: Movies, Da Vinci Code, Catholic Church

I know I’m not supposed to talk about myself here, but OMG! I just found out I got an A in my blog class, the venue through which this blog was created. I didn’t think I was going to, but I did, ergo I rock.

OK I’m done. Just wanted to brag for a second.

There’s so much WoW news these days, I can hardly stand it. First and most shocking: Blizzard and Legendary Pictures are making a movie set in the World of Warcraft universe. I can’t decide what I hope this movie will be–would it be cooler to see the backstory, the legends behind the whole game series (which are so complex I still don’t fully understand them) played out onscreen? Or would it be awesomer to see a new set of heroes adventuring in the version of the world I’m familiar with, the modern one? I think I’m leaning toward the latter, although since I never really played any of the pre-WoW games, my opinion might be a little different than a lot of WoW fans.

Next bit of brilliant: the new race for this summer’s WoW expansion pack, “The Burning Crusade,” is the demonic Draenei. Sweeeet. The NY Times has the full story here (you have to be a member to see the article, but it’s free). The gameplay trailer from E3 doesn’t let you see a whole bunch of the Draenei’s world, which was disappointing considering the number of visuals available of the dazzling Blood Elf homeland. But the characters themselves look pretty cool/creepy, what with the glowing eyes and tentacles sprouting from strange places.

I can’t spend too much time geeking out about WoW, because there’s also the Nintendo Wii to geek out over. But before I do that, WTF is with the new name? Are they trying to turn off gamers? “Revolution” was such a better name. But I digress. Also debuting at E3 was a demo of the new Zelda title, “The Twilight Princess,” which looks to be immensely compatible with the Wii’s two-handed, motion-sensitive mishmash of a controller. How awesome would it be to actually swordfight instead of pushing buttons to swing? I love ideas that get gamers off the couch, which so far has been done successfully only with DDR. I also like that Nintendo isn’t going the elitist route like Sony, whose PlayStation 3 will cost about $500 and be incredibly hard to obtain for the first five months of its release (until the company starts selling more in March 2007). Yes, PS3 looks to be astonishingly beautiful onscreen, but as a mid- to low-level gamer, my priorities lie elsewhere. The relatively low purchase price expected of the Wii combined with the sheer badassedness of the new Zelda game might just convince me to buy a console for the first time in my life. As for the third competitor in the console wars, Microsoft seems to be coasting. Since the Xbox 360 is old news, the best they can do to divert attention from Sony and Nintendo is endlessly flaunt the new Halo game. Am I the only person completely unexcited by Halo 3?

Oh yeah, and Britney Spears is pregnant again. Yawn.

Technorati tag: E3, World of Warcraft, Nintendo, Console Games