You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October, 2007.
Let me begin with a disclaimer: I love–love–Tudor-era England. Henry VIII and his dysfunctional spawn fascinate me to no end. Why were they all bent on killing or dethroning each other? Why couldn’t they just make up their minds on the religion thing? The world may never know.
Keeping this tidbit in mind, please take my opinions here with a giant block of salt (does salt come in blocks?). I found it extremely hard to focus on Elizabeth: The Golden Age as a work of historical fiction because I was too busy analyzing the film’s historical accuracy–or, in this case, inaccuracy.
/begin nerdy historical rant
While Cate Blanchett pulls off a breathtaking performance (as expected), The Golden Age suffers from a symptom the first Elizabeth also displayed: a belief that the audience lacks the ability to understand nuance. The great religious upheaval of the 1500’s is boiled down to practically a cartoonish level of simplicity; all the Protestants are confident, pretty and carry themselves with a modern-day swagger, while the Catholics crouch in dark corners, speak in a series of hisses and cross themselves every five seconds. Philip II of Spain, the man with whom Elizabeth’s sister supposedly fell in love after only seeing his portrait, is portrayed as an effeminate religious fanatic with a prominent movement disability. Yes, these people were probably less than saintly in real life, but does director Shekhar Kapur really believe the audience can’t spot a kook unless he’s a caricature of the real thing?
Also, Cate Blanchett is 38. When the events shown in the movie were really happening, Elizabeth was 55. Another attempt to make history more palatable to the lowest common denominator. Sigh.
/end rant
Even if you don’t give a rat’s patooty about things being textbook-friendly, Elizabeth: The Golden Age probably still won’t wow you with its entertainment value. It’s a nice enough film to look at; Kapur brings the era to life with lots of gorgeous colors and distractingly flawless updos (the wig budget alone must have topped five figures). It does have some decent action scenes (historically bunk action scenes, but I digress). The supporting cast is fantastic, notably Samantha Morton as Mary, Queen of Scots and Abbie Cornish as Elizabeth’s favorite maid-in-waiting gone wild.
Despite all the melodrama, the movie includes far too many ho-hum scenes in which the actors seem to be posing for promotional photos rather than acting. Shot: Elizabeth marches around regally. Shot: Elizabeth looks at herself in the mirror. Shot: Elizabeth stares at something for an extended period of time, saying nothing. Half the film seems like nothing but a photo op.
In summation, I give you an Austin Audience exclusive: the director’s checklist for “how to make Elizabeth a super awesome success.”
Elizabeth: The Golden Age stars Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush, Rhys Ifans, Samantha Morton, Jordi Mollà
Tangentially Relevant: it’s not quite a movie review, but almost!
What’s that you hear in the background of this post? Why, it’s the dull white noise of this fall’s primetime lineup! The best and the worst, below…
Pushing Daisies
ABC, Wednesdays at 7 p.m. CST
My favorite new show of the season. Offbeat dark comedy about a guy who can resurrect the dead. Creator and writers worship in the church of Tim Burton. Freakishly adorable leading man and lady. Almost too cute for its own good, but not quite. Please watch this show so ABC won’t cancel it after three episodes.
Chuck
NBC, Mondays at 7 p.m. CST
Dramedy about computer repair dude who inadvertently learns all the CIA’s secrets. Threatens to be mediocre, but has potential. Again with the adorable, geeky hero. Totally on-trend with the nerdy-yet-somehow-cool thing (all the rage thanks to Superbad, Ugly Betty, et al). Thankfully does not succumb to nerd cliches (no pocket protectors in sight).
Grey’s Anatomy
ABC, Thursdays at 8 p.m. CST
McDreamy is so McFiveMinutesAgo. Only sheer hatred of Izzie keeps me watching this increasingly tired show. If you’re not a fan holdout from previous seasons, don’t bother.
Cavemen
ABC, Tuesdays at 7 p.m. CST
File under “publicity stunt for big ad client.” Inane sitcom about effete cavemen living in a modern world. Network keeps encouraging viewers to schedule a “Man Date” to watch this show. If you’ve actually scheduled a “Man Date” for “Cavemen,” please never visit this site again.
Private Practice
ABC, Wednesdays at 8 p.m. CST
Much-hyped “Grey’s Anatomy” spinoff about socially maladjusted doctors at a touchy-feely wellness center. Attempt at replicating “McDreamy” success with a new hot doctor fails miserably, as said hot doctor is an extremely boring individual. Second episode considerably better than the first. Highlight of the show so far: repeated use of the word “midwifery” (pronounced “mid-whiff-ery”).
Ugly Betty
ABC, Thursdays at 7 p.m. CST
One of last season’s hit debuts. Great cast, cute story, awesome concept. Campy, fluffy fun. Would be closer to perfection if it would quit spending so much time on Daniel and Alexis and focus on Betty. Or Mark/Amanda. Really anyone else would be preferable.
As I am only one woman, I can’t watch the entire fall lineup–at least not without sacrificing friends, family and personal hygiene. What do you think are the stand-out shows of the season? Which ones do you think are doomed?
